The Parent
Illustration by Noelle Mitcham
Article by Reese Borchert
NEWBERG, Ore – It is an infamous moment of independence when a student moves out to live at a university. According to ChildStats, 69% of children aged 0-17 live with two parents. If they choose to attend college after high school and live on-campus, adjusting to daily life without those guiding figures can be a big change.
“It's nice to have a safety net for life on campus. A key piece of that safety net is an RA,” says Ian Hoyt, a freshman at George Fox University (GFU).
Residence Life has the task of ensuring students become independent yet don’t feel alone. This office defines its purpose as “programming, community connections and resourcing, and building environments.”
“I think my job is truly to enhance people's livelihood at Fox,” says Abi Easterling, a sophomore resident assistant (RA) in Macy Hall.
Easterling explains how she had to be intentional at the beginning of the school year to set boundaries. Friends and fellow residence assistants lead her to understand how “being a mother figure isn’t helping [your residents].”
“I do have to help them with a bunch of different aspects of their life,” says Easterling, “but it’s not a burden, like being a parent is not a burden. It's hard work, but it's worth it because you love them.”
“I love each of them in a different way and I love all of them. Different girls need different things,” says Easterling. “Like with some girls, I hang out in their room once a week.”
Easterling explains how some of her residents are more independent but at least once a month, she knocks on each door in her hall to check in.
The women’s side of Edwards Hall said that they appreciated when their RA expressed interest in the little things, caring about all life events, even the less significant ones.
“Oh, they got a boyfriend! Or they have a performance, or they have a cute outfit,” says Abby Woodruff, a RA in Edwards. Woodruff finds joy in celebrating all of their wins.
“Coming to college is a learning curve for everyone,” says Easterling. “It has shown me that people come from different backgrounds and are used to different expectations as far as cleaning and chores.”
Easterling explains how she set up a chore chart to help freshmen navigate sharing the kitchen and bathroom space. It’s important to her to preserve the students’ freedom, so that they can cook what they want and shower when they want, with minimal havoc.
RA’s also set a standard of good behavior. Gulley RA Ezra Clark wishes to impart this on his residents: “Maybe the culture. There’s an understanding that certain things are expected at Fox and I’m kind of the role model for those expectations.”
Similarly, Woodruff wants to “set a good example of joy in the Lord” and implement her values of “justice and kindness, no matter what” when handling various situations.
“I think most people on campus go through homesickness. I am no different,” says Hoyt, who lives on Clark’s floor. “Ezra does a great job of making people feel at home.” He expresses great appreciation for Clark’s work in listening, giving advice and leading social events. When the floor above was allegedly wrestling at 1 a.m., Ezra was able to dissipate the noise.
“I like joking around with my sister at home and Ezra fills that void in my life on campus,” says Hoyt.
“It’s not so much parenting, but providing direction and guidance,” says Clark. “The best is when they reach out with a need and I can help.”
Through one-on-ones and floor Bible studies, the RAs seek to foster community in various ways. “Each RA has different approaches,” says Easterling. Some connections end up being stronger than others.
About a specific resident, Clark says, “We go on walks just to talk about life, every two weeks, he’s a very busy man.” Despite the demanding schedule of this student, he values the relationship with Clark so they allot time to catch up.
The process of preparing weekly Bible study for her floor aids Easterling in “staying grounded, and intentionally setting aside time to reset.”
“I definitely did feel like a parent for a long time,” says Easterling. Now she can determine where to draw the line and how to refer residents to additional resources. “It helps me jump into the freshman mind and take accountability for this job as a whole.”
“I love to see them having fun in college, so that’s kind of mom-like,” says Woodruff.
“It’s a sigh of relief knowing there are people who care about this job just as much as I do,” says Easterling. She appreciates how Area Coordinator Victoria Cole has selectively hired students to create a team of positive individuals who have supported her this year.
All three resident assistants are excited to continue working for Residence Life next year, either continuing in their current roles or advancing to Assistant Area Coordinators.
