Haven’t “Fall”en in Love at GFU?
Reported By: Benny Schorie
Illustrated By: Addie Patterson
As October graces us with its presence of chilled air and crunchy leaves, we are reminded of what awaits us after this autumn bliss: a dreadful winter. Barren trees, frozen noses, and putting on coats just to take the trash out are the cold realities of the coming months. To fill the void that summer leaves, there is only one suitable way for George Fox University (GFU) students to brave the winter: find a relationship.
A common belief among 20th century Americans was that women came to college with the intention of meeting a future spouse who would get a high-paying job. This myth is still perpetuated today, especially within an evangelical Christian culture that prioritizes marriage. So, it’s no surprise that dating at GFU is highly valued.
How do so many people, presumably, meet their soulmates at GFU? And for those who don’t find their soulmates, where does that leave them? How do those lonely singles survive this marriage farm?
To better understand the dating culture at GFU, I talked with the now-married Steven Travis and Ruth Muñoz Travis; as GFU freshmen, they first met at the Honors Program orientation retreat before Welcome Weekend.
During their freshman year, the pair struggled to figure out their relationship identity on campus while navigating life in a new state. “The hanging out ha[d] to either be in public or in secret,” Travis said. “Dorm lobbies are not the best place to start dating,” Muñoz Travis said. “In the beginning, our friend groups formed around our identity as a couple, so we weren't fully seen as individuals. And when it's a friend group of couples, a breakup can ruin a friend group,” they said.
The couple shared that the “Ring by Spring” talk felt like a joke and hadn’t added pressure to their relationship. Nevertheless, they would still advise current GFU couples not to get lost in this dating culture; “Instead of focusing on having the perfect relationship, focus on living and existing with that person and how you feel together,” Muñoz Travis said.
Since graduating in Spring 2023 and later getting married, they have embraced the joys of having separate identities instead of existing as a monolith: “People knew us as part of knowing me, but now I get to tell people about Steven,” Muñoz Travis said.
Being in college and in a committed relationship is exciting, but as the couple pointed out, it comes with its challenges. This should come as good news for all the singles out there. Though you might feel like you’re missing out, you’re gaining the chance to explore something different, something uncharted by anyone else: yourself.
As the wise oracle of relationships, Carrie Bradshaw, once said, “The most exciting, challenging, and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you that you love, well, that's just fabulous.”
So, it seems that the coming of the winter lends itself well to those without a relationship. Come and be warmed at the hearth of new discoveries like uncovering your adult identity, developing friendships and community, and exploring other forms of love apart from romance. While college relationships come and go, the benefits of this internal labor of self discovery will be reaped for all the years to come.